Adults need no nannies or jannies
So I have to pay $1000 for the privilege of making Tim Apple my supervisor?
The internet is hell: you’re always two clicks away from free, 4K midget orgies or cartel executions.
Us, as adults, have the option to reach that content, should we choose to do so. We can navigate the internet, we can navigate the world. If us, adults couldn’t, the world would fall apart. My car has a steering wheel, unrestricted: I can drive it into a ditch, any time, at my pleasure. I’ve yet to do so. Most people, evidently, are the same.
Most people don’t want to live in a well-supervised global gulag. Some do, some think that would be safer, some think they would have an armband in that new system, or some other blueish check that marks them as part of the ruling caste. To those, a global gulag is an upgrade, a potential promotion. But most adults don’t want this constrained prison life, although, for these masses to stay conscious about their will to stay free, a few brave and BASED skizos have to remind them of the unrelenting push from the wannabe kapos to have power over them from time to time.
Children (minors, by definition) need supervision: a family member recently asked me for advice to take their kid “offline”. I told them to go free on Luddism when it comes to parenting, that’s what rich techies have been doing in the West for a while (the few who bother to procreate), and offered them help to do so. Old school cartoons on a USB stick are back on the menu: even Hungarian, kid-oriented TV channels, under — nominal — content supervision by the state air whacky stuff that crosses the line.
If you can’t even trust the nanny TV channels, the internet, unrestricted, is way off limits. Kids with tablets and smarphones are like kids with cigs. If a parent lets them have it, they might as well give them a pack of cigarettes. This is not a health or education argument by me, it’s purely a status argument: if you let your kids use these devices, you’re a gutter prole, and they will turn out as well as an 8 year old who’s bumping mommy for a fag. A smoking kid is not the image of the next little Albert Einstein, and nobody claps.
I’m harsh, but the internet is hell1.
B-b-but what about little Timmy becoming a Matrix haxxor? Well, your kids won’t be any more tech savvy by swiping away their wake hours drooling on digital heroin any more than my generation’s gamers converted into natural software engineers by staying up until 2:00 am every night playing Counter-Strike. Go Luddite on them as long as it’s possible, it won’t put them in any disadvantage, trust me. I’ll write a post about the cargo cult of early computer exposure, it’s nothing new, we’ve been at it for a while and it’s a dud. What has changed since the times of “let’s put Commodore 64s into every primary school” is that the downside of the experiment became extremely severe.
Children need supervision, adults don’t.
Rumors are going around that Tim Apple is considering taking the Twitter app off the app store.
I’m invested in their ecosystem, horizontally and vertically, and have been for a long time. I was aware of their nanny policies, the restrictions of certain products, and made peace with them when I left he old world behind. It was and is worth the tradeoff. If Apple removes the Twitter app as a punishment, I won’t rage quit and start using desktop Linux or switch to a disgusting, Android-derivate personal internet device. Any such threat would be an empty tantrum from me, and from many of you.
The current M1 MacBook Air is the best laptop ever made (quality, performance and most importantly, value-wise), the iPhones and iPads just work, better than ever; it’s as good as it gets, as good as it has ever been. Many of you reading this are doing it on an Apple device, thus you are just as guilty as I am of making Tim Apple ever more rich and powerful. We all are.
One of the most audacious nanny move from Apple happened in 2014, when Tim unilaterally decided to put a free U2 album into every iTunes library.
In the Apple consumer blogosphere, the memory of this insult is as alive as ever: earlier this November, one of the alpha podcasts, after finishing their Musk Derangement Syndrome struggle session (these are basic bitch shitlibs after all), brought up the ethics of Bono’s unremovable gratis album, which is still a thorn in their side, 8 years on.
Apparently, Tim, adults, even your dedicated fanboys disapprove of nannying when it comes to their own content consumption choices.
Now these very shitlibs will probably rationalize banning the Twitter app as the right move; it’s a private company, chud, until I don’t like the owner, then it should be nationalized. But that shouldn’t surprise anyone, Hegemonic Liberalism is not about principles, it’s all about power.
Assuming their reaction to something Apple is yet to do is a bit too long on the hypotheticals, but I want to underscore how easy it is to predict certain behaviors. If I turn out to be wrong, I will be pleasantly surprised. Please prove me wrong!
In the mean time, Tim Apple, I have to commend you, both as an Apple customer and shareholder: you’re doing a great job, whatever you do, prioritizing product development or counting beans or just sitting on your hands. In fact, I’m happier with your leadership than ever! (Although, I was lucky to skip the butterfly keyboard mechanism era of MacBooks, I heard those were garbage.)
I’m not alone, a great many people are happy to keep paying the highest premiums in the consumer segment of electronics that your margins dictate, some niche customers are willing to pay prices that are straight up luxurious, just to stay in the Apple ecosystem.
From an adult to an adult: we’re good, Tim. Your products are great, their price is right. I’m happy to pay You to keep delivering great products, not to become a nanny over me.
Focus on making Apple silicon better, make a 12” MacBook, two great tips to make me poorer and you richer. Consider updating the iPhone mini line, that’s a few hundred bucks out of my pocket in the future, guaranteed.
What you shouldn’t do is to meddle with what I can and cannot see or hear.
I don’t need a nanny or a jannie, and asking me to pay a premium for that privilege is an added insult, one that should anger enough people (Your consumers) on the long run to show up in the spreadsheets. Wouldn’t that be a nightmare, Tim, all those beans? Think about all those precious beans!
You can keep having content restrictions in your products, for kids, as an option. No one objects to that. Some adults could use that feature to manage their current derangement, to keep Bad Man Musk out of their vision, just like some adults use diapers as a fetish, in fact there’s a significant overlap between the two demos. Keep them happy, get their money as well, sure, but they’re not the majority, Tim, always remember that! You must already be aware of this, you’re the one with the spreadsheets.
— a happy Apple customer
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Update: death con 3 is lifted for now